Cures for Boring Monologues

Opening Monologues come in various shapes and sizes. Mediation
participants complain that long-winded opening monologues put them to
sleep. What do you do as a mediator to cover the bases and keep the
parties engaged?


I try to cover the basics in the monologue--mediation is voluntary,
confidential, mediation v. litigation and the court hearing, the children
are the priority, etc. During the opening, I weave in questions to the
parties and gain an understanding of some background and personal
information, all the while attempting to "connect" with the parties in some
way. It is important to make these folks feel comfortable with the mediator
and so my approach is very low key and "easy going." I then visit with each
party privately after the monologue to gain further perspective on the
issues and what is important to each party. That is my general approach for
what it's worth. Dennis

I mostly do court connected mediation, which requires notification of rules of mediation in writing. My usual procedure is to give the participants a few minutes to look over the written rules and then ask them to discuss it with me in plain english. I try to make it conversational, eliciting body language or verbal responses that indicate consent. Little time is spent on my background, the fine points of the process, or much depth on confidentiality unless they ask specifically about it. To keep them engaged I use lead-ins like "You are probably all wondering ..." or "What you will find interesting..." or "This is beneficial to know..." The monologue is kept short as time is usually of the essence. Most of the rule-making takes place during the mediation as issues, like all speaking at once, come up. Participants are usually geared up to get down to business and want the mediator to show them how it works rather than tell them how it works. Kathleen